contralto's Xanga

Saturday, January 01, 2005

Sat, 01 Jan 2005 00:33:30 GMT

from yesterday's straits times

"Dec 31, 2004
Time to mourn, and treasure relationships

SUNDAY'S tidal waves affected many parts of the world and many lives were lost. It is time for us to pause and think.

As more lives are reported lost and those who survived experience the impact of this disaster, may we take time to mourn and extend our sympathies to those affected.

Maybe this is also a time to ponder over the meaning of life as we know it and be grateful for whatever we have.

Perhaps it is also a time to stop celebrating. This may mean taking time to feel the pain of those affected and minimise, or, if possible, avoid any celebration to usher in the New Year.

This is a time for mourning. Celebrations can come at some other time. It is also a time for giving and sharing with those who have need for clothes, food and water.

It is also a time for sharing in their grief.

Finally, it is a time for us to appreciate life and acknowledge once more that life is fragile and we can easily lose what we have, especially our relationships with people who mean something to us.

Anthony Yeo
Clinical Director
Counselling and Care Centre"

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Thu, 23 Dec 2004 05:02:22 GMT

Merry Christmas. as Tiny Tim did say,

God bless us, everyone.

contralto will be quiet for a while, and hopefully learn to find rest in Him.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Wed, 01 Dec 2004 02:33:19 GMT

am jumping the gun, but this is too exciting news to keep quiet about...

a dear friend's album will be launched soon! go here for slightly more info. =) we haven't managed to get music clips up yet, but i'll see if we can do it within the next couple of days. [EDIT: music clips are up!]

all proceeds of the album will go to our church's building fund. erm, if you'll like a copy, let me know.

Thursday, September 23, 2004

Thu, 23 Sep 2004 15:10:59 GMT

Straits Times, SEPT 22, 2004 Learning to live a life that's full

By Tan Seow Hon

WHILE Singaporeans have not been known to be a philosophical people, the age-old question of the meaning of life surfaced recently. In his National Day Rally speech, Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong talked about the importance of 'learning to live a life', of 'learning to be a full person' or, as the Chinese say, xue zhuo ren. Mr Lee suggested that this, and not the mere preparation of the young for a job, was the task of education.

Whether or not we ask ourselves what it means to live a meaningful life, this issue is implicitly addressed in our commitments. Our choices as to how to employ our limited time and resources testify to a practical commitment to specific views as to what our lives mean.

While teaching a legal philosophy class a few weeks ago, I asked my students whether they thought they lived a meaningful life. To set the context, the subject matter was Professor John Finnis' theory of natural law.

Prof Finnis suggests that a legal system should provide a framework that enables each person to secure seven goods essential for human flourishing, or a meaningful life. These goods - knowledge, life, play, aesthetic experience, sociability, practical reasonableness and religion or a concern for a higher order - are supposed to be self-evident.

While I had meant it in class as a prelude to the concept of law, I was heartened that some of my students were more engaged by the deeper questions about the meaning of their own lives. One pondered aloud outside of class: 'Does this mean my life (as I've lived it) is meaningless?'

I am neither surprised nor distressed by the interest over the question - cliched as one might have thought it should seem to university students in their early 20s. In a post-modern culture more accustomed to doing than thinking, in which the worth or value of a project tends to be set by peer, parental or societal standards, the question is usually not addressed precisely because it is regarded as trite.

In view of these circumstances, how can one guide another how to live a life? Socrates, in the Platonic dialogue, Gorgias, suggests that the best kind of life is the examined life. I think there are three broad principles.

First, one's commitments should be authentic. As Education Minister Tharman Shanmugaratnam reminded the audience at an NUS Students' Political Association event last week, passion and doing what one loves are paramount.

To add to that, determine for yourself what is worth committing to and, having done that, persevere in measuring what you do by those standards rather than the different standards of the world.

The second principle is, in determining what is of worth, your achievements shouldn't constrain you from pursuing your calling. For example, being a skilled professional who might earn much more in a conventional job should not stop you from pursuing a less conventional calling - after the issue has been given careful thought.

The third principle comes from the sub-text in a recent movie, A Beautiful Mind. Throughout much of the movie about the life of Nobel Prize winner in economics, Professor John Nash, one is led to believe that his code-breaking work was for real, and it was perhaps the secrecy surrounding it that was part cause of his mental condition.

This is before he meets his psychiatrist. The depths of his delusions are dramatically revealed only when his wife barges into his office to see magazine snippings and scribblings all over the walls, clearly the work of a man out of touch with reality. In that poignant moment, she asks: 'Is this all he's been doing every day - cutting up magazines?'

The utter worthlessness and futility of his life's work, which had hitherto seemed so impressive, hits us hard because we had been drawn into Prof Nash's world. Until the moment of revelation, we, too, assessed his work through his eyes, using his standards. We were, like him, deceived. When truth was unveiled, we were shocked because what had seemed like gold was but dross.

Albeit unintended, this is a powerful metaphor for a life that is lived unexamined, without a standard for a guide, or with a standard that one finds to be false at the end of one's life. Will one then find that life has been spent just 'cutting up magazines'?

So the third principle is this: The possibility of a different standard at our deathbeds, morbid as it may sound, ought to compel us to realise those things that truly matter to us.

The alternative? Hugh Grant's character in the movie, About A Boy, spends his time on leisure and nothing else. In one moment of angst-filled revelation, he remarks that all in all, he leads a very full life: It's just that it doesn't mean anything.

In your hands lies the power to choose life. Today.

The writer dedicates this to her jurisprudence class of 28 enthusiastic National University of Singapore students, who are a delight to teach.

------------------
Deuteronomy 30
19 This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live 20 and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

Friday, July 23, 2004

Fri, 23 Jul 2004 00:13:01 GMT

a few interesting posts on male-female single relationships in the church that i've found

1) changed's Theology of dating
2) jibae's Lame Duck post, and the perils of the Ambigious Friend
3) bleuemoon's take from a girl's perspective.

a male friend to whom i forwarded the first link told me, that any analysis of dating etc was an exercise in futility, bec at the end of the day we're all selfish, sinful beings. but since i'm female i have genes that make me analyse things to death, and the above links should provide some interesting reading for the moment.

Sunday, June 06, 2004

Sun, 06 Jun 2004 14:33:56 GMT

erm, this ought to be funny. as in tongue-in-cheek.

today's sunday paper had a lovely mug of mark zee on the cover. he's an american chinese boy who has been in the news lately for being the runner up in a reality tv show - our version of the Bachelorette. there was another pic of him on the lifestyle section, and guess what the story was - "Foreign Affairs - The allure of the American-born Chinese man". (the link is valid for only three days, i'll see if i can save a copy somewhere...EDIT: see macling's xanga =))

i wasn't expecting some intellectual tome on why american chinese males were seemingly more attractive to singapore women, but with comments like "'They're the next best thing after ang mohs for Singaporean girls. They've got the American accent, are bigger built and they've got fairer complexions than most of us, if you're into that kind of thing,' he adds." from one of the singaporean male interviewees... aiyoh.

cliches and stereotypes do not a good article make. was just thinking they might have done an interesting comparison of the marginalisation of the asian male in american media, with that of the singaporean male in society here. or maybe it's because the article does reveal that we are shallow beings after all that makes me uncomfortable. (and since when does singling out a particular race or country in these matters help anyone?)

maybe macling can enlighten us. ha.ha.ha.

sigh.

Monday, May 17, 2004

Mon, 17 May 2004 02:03:22 GMT

if you do a google search for "nice guys finish last" you'll get gazillions of articles offering advice on the topic. Recently there has been going around that 'ode to nice guys' article written by a girl for the Wharton Undergrad Journal that begins along the lines of -

"This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. …This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door. For the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population. For the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway. For the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters. For the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends. For all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated. For all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned. This is for you."

can i offer my take from a female perspective?

(having had three major conversations with fellow girlfriends over the weekend has prompted an avalanche of thoughts on the subject).

i just want to know why there are so many attractive, lovely, yet single girls around me.

you know, the ones who have a great sense of humour, and amazing talents – they draw, they play RPG, they make beautiful music, they write brilliantly. The ones who take care of others without expecting anything in return, the ones who play Martha at every party you’re at – they cook because they enjoy it, they clean up after you, they make sure people are settled in. They’re smart and quirky, and many an intelligent, meaningful conversation can be had with them. And they love God with all their heart.

Maybe it’s because they’re girls that may not grab your eye at first glance, or aren't the feminine helpless/sweet-looking creatures that many guys seem to fall at the feet of. And maybe, it’s because they don’t seem helpless, that guys don’t make the effort to ask them out.

But you see, they’re girls too.

I’m tempted to think that the "nice guys" that these articles refer to are but … fools. =) don’t lament that nice guys finish last. Look to that quiet girl who hangs around in the background who may not turn heads but has a heart that is worth sharing with. you might just find that One.

(or maybe, its the heat that's getting to me - temperatures have been hitting 34 degrees celsius. actually i'm also wondering why it is only girls who can see these qualities in fellow women. hmmm.)

Thursday, March 18, 2004

Thu, 18 Mar 2004 02:03:14 GMT

beep beep.